The AMD Alternative Oscar Nominations 2012

Ok so here they are the various nominations for the After Movie Diner alternative Oscars!

Please read, pick your favourites, vote by either commenting on this blog or e-mailing
and then don't forget to TUNE IN to the After Movie Diner Podcast on Monday 27th Feb to hear us discuss it and officially pick our winners for 2012!!!

If you want to be inculded:

Best Actor
Jason Statham (KE)
John Goodman, Michael Parkes(RS)
M Smiley (Kill List)
A Serkis (RPOTA)
Ryan Gosling, Ron Perlman (Drive)
William Fichtner (DA)
Banderas(Skin I live in)
Otto Jespersen (TH)
Robert Downey, Jr – Sherlock Holmes 2
Jason Statham – Killer Elite
Daniel Craig – Cowboys and Aliens
Patrick Wilson - Insidious

Best Supporting Actor
Andy Serkis – Rise of the Planet of the Apes
John Goodman – Red State

Best Actress
Mellisa Leo (RS)
Cary Mulligan (Drive)
MyAnna Buring (Kill List)
Zoe Saldana (Columbiana)
Elena Anaya (Skin I live in)
Saoirse Ronan – Hanna
Depressing and English, so no chance of an Oscar nod, but Olivia Coleman - Tyrannosaur

Best Supporting Actress
Mila Kunis – Friends with Benefits
Elle Fanning – Super 8
Melissa Leo – Red State

Best Screenplay
Kevin Smith(RS)
Ben Ripley(Source Code)
Matt Sherring(KE)
Andrew Niccol – In Time

Best Director
Matthew Vaughan (X-men)
Jason Eisner (Hobo)
Kevin Smith (RS)
Ben Wheatly (KillList)
Nicolas Winding Refn (Drive)
Duncan Jones (Source Code)
Gary McKendry (Killer Elite)
Andre Ovredal (TH)
Kenneth Branagh – Thor
JJ. Abrams – Super 8
Neil Burger – Limitless
Jonathan Liebesman – Battle Los Angeles

Best actor, Director, Screenplay with no more than four words, Original score that isn’t entirely original
The Artist

Best adapted screenplay
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. If you want action, you need to read The Spy Who Came In From The Cold or similar. Fuck all happens in this one, very slowly. A bit like Drive, but with more actual driving.

Best foreign language film, Best Action, Best Use of Cows
13 Assassins

Best animated film
Kung Fu Panda 2 was fun, but Rango was genius, although kids probably sat there thinking ‘what the fuck is this about?’

For making beige look so good….Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Documentary feature
Senna – nuff said

Crazy Stupid Love

Best Horror
Troll Hunter
Paranormal Activity 3
Tucker & Dale vs Evil
Dream Home
Kill List

Best Overall Film
13 Assassins
Red State
Hobo with a Shotgun
Killer Elite
Source Code
Skin I Live in
Drive Angry
A Serbian Film
Rise of Planet Of The Apes
Fast Five
In Time
You’ll disagree with me, but this was Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. I’d happily watch the directors cut with an extra hour of beige men sitting in smoky beige rooms. drinking tea. Then watch the outakes. Followed by the commentary

Most Disappointing Film
Drive – no acting (looking doleful doesn’t count), no tension, precious little driving.

Shame – what a terrible time you must have being quite well off and having lots of sex. Pull yourself together you divot.

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. More Bergerac than Midsommer Murders for me, On an island and everyone is slightly posh apart from the obvious bit of rough. Maybe John Nettles is available if Craig doesn’t want to come back for more?


The Life Time Achievement for Most Underrated Films of All Time
Escape from LA
Brain Candy
Blood in blood out
Rivers edge
Eagle vs shark
Tao of steve
Run ronny run
Summer camp nightmare
Hawk the slayer
Grosse pointe blank

Crimes to cinema:
Pointless useless remakes
Straw Dogs
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

The best of what Moe 'Drunk On VHS' Porne watched in 2011
Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared Syn
Shock 'Em Dead
Hamburger: The Motion Picture
Class of 1999
Death Drug
Karate Cop
Body Rock
Las Vegas BloodBath

The Craziest
Birdemic: Shock and Terror! - Could actually be a contender for worst movie, but the experience of seeing the film with an audience and all the drunken craziness involved with the screening made for a really amazing experience. The Screening I went to featured the local chapter of the Jerry Owen Fan Club (Jerry is a character who appears in the film for maybe 3 minutes, but the kids love him)

The Absolute Worst!
Though probably not a huge surprise for anyone who follows the No Budget Nightmares Podcast hosted by Doug Tilley and myself, but my pick for worst movie watched in 2011 is quite easily

Hip Hop Locos - The story of 2 cholos looking to rob, steal, and kill their way into the music industry. Every line of this film ends with "ese" or "homes"...I think it actually may do a better job of setting back hispanic's rights than any chapter of the KKK could ever do!

AND LASTLY, From David De Moss 
The AYTIWS Awards for 2011

Nothing unites the rising generation of film critics like contempt for the Academy Awards. So in the spirit of Judd Nelson telling the four-faced, hovering octopus monster that “I have nothing but contempt for this court,” allow me to present a slate of awards to the few films of 2011 I actually managed to see.

The Carl Gustav Jung Award for Archetypical Critical Darling
goes to “Drive,” for being a slow, plodding, staring contest of a predictable crime thriller punctuated by brief moments of violence sure to shock anyone who's doesn't watch low budget horror movies on a regular basis. i.e., professional critics, who are nothing if not creatures of habit. Read any one of them around about the second week of August and you'll see the signs of Summer Blockbuster burnout in full force. The biggest sign being their unreserved praise of the first passably-directed, pretentiously “smart” film they come across. Drive just so happened to be last years lottery winner: not bad, but genuinely overrated by virtue of the fact it stuck out like a sore thumb in the summer of Fast Five, Harry Potter 7.2 and Transformers: Darkside of My Ass.

The Snakes on a Plane Award for Biggest Disappointment
goes to “Captain America: The First Avenger” for being a thirty minute Captain America movie inexpertly stapled to a forty-five minute trailer for The Avengers, as its title helpfully warns. I would give this award to Thor but I've never cared about Thor and not even the combined powers of Natalie Portman and Kenneth Branagh could change that. I occasionally give a crap about Captain America but ours is a toxic relationship since the red white and blue bastards burned me for four movies running. I don't blame anyone involved: all three of 2011's Marvel movies had “Studio Interference” written all over them. But I wouldn't have been so disappointed if those first thirty minutes weren't so damn good. So step forward, Joe Johnston and know that The Rocketeer is still your best film.

The “I've Been Wondering, What Are Midichlorians?” Award for Franchise Murder
once again goes to Michael Bay and Producer-in-Name-Only Steve Speilberg for their Transformers franchise, of which Transformers 3 is but the latest vile emanation. While not as openly racist as its predecessors, Dark of the Moon still manages just as much of an onerous uphill slog through boredom, stupidity and incoherent visual noise. Except its even longer, so I'll say no more about it here, because there are worse things to discuss.

The Pizza Box Full of Dogshit Award for Worst Movie of the Year
(that I personally saw) goes to...(dramatic pause) Green Lantern. Bad enough it was a Top Gun rip-off that completely missed the point of Top Gun by recasting Iceman as a Chick (or a Pink-skinned alien, depending on your reading). Bad enough its director obviously did not give two shits about the material. Bad enough they chose to make the film about the most boring character to ever bear the name in the franchise's seventy year history. (So boring, in fact, that he's recently had his history re-written to be more of a Top Gun rip-off.) Bad enough they consigned one comic's largest and most visually-diverse casts of characters to the not-done-yet CGI background. They had to top all that stupidity off by hiring Ryan Reynolds, the rich man's Jason Lee. Because there's a hero for The People.

And there are my awards, honoring to the four films of last year that actively pissed me off. I'd put together a competing slate of awards for those few films I actually liked but, in an experience I'm sure you'll recognize, all of those turned out to be older releases, mostly from last century. And so it goes.

The After Movie Diner Podcast NOMINATED for TLA CULT AWARD!

Don Dohler-Fest 2 coming to The After Movie Diner Podcast featuring Interview with GEORGE STOVER