Teen Movie Hell
"Porno movies watered down for thirteen year olds—that's what this book is about."
That's the opening sentence of Mike "McBeardo" McPadden's introduction to Teen Movie Hell (Bazillion Points, 2019), his new and instantly indispensable tome on the legendary teen sex comedies that played a seminal role in so many Gen X adolescent upbringings. In one sentence, McPadden beautifully and succinctly sums up all of the films included (and there are hundreds in here). The 1970s–1990s teen sex comedies provided a generation (or two) of kids with a safe introduction to the racier side of the pop culture world: we marveled at the constant parade of bare breasts and snickered at the endless cavalcade of juvenile humor.
When I was a teenager, Roger Ebert's Movie Home Companion guidebook was my Bible. I carried it around everywhere, read and reread it constantly. Through this tome, I was first introduced to a number of important movies that would influence my budding cinephilia. Movies as disparate as Taxi Driver, Dangerous Liaisons, and Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf were brought to my young mind's eye thanks to Ebert's book. His book helped grow my love for film. Teen Movie Hell is very much in that spirit and I can see it being used as the perfect primer for those wishing to deep dive into the lascivious kiddie pool that is the teen sex comedy genre. Reading through his book brought back those same feelings of wonder I experienced all those years ago reading through Ebert's Companion, and that's because, like Ebert, McPadden is a wonderful writer who offers new and interesting insights into these classics.
Unlike Ebert though, who could be harsh on teen sex comedies and horror - though not as much as his sparring partner and legendary moral scold Gene Siskel - McPadden actually understands the appeal of films like Private Lessons, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and Joy Sticks, to name just a few of the hundreds covered in the book. Their juvenile nature is not something to be condemned; it's simply a heightened expression of the melodrama inherit in every teenager's life. Sex, love, friendship, and family dysfunction are all dialed up to eleven in the best teen sex comedies because it makes for wildly entertaining movies and it's a fairly accurate reflection of how teens see themselves and their own lives. McPadden and his contributors understand this, and treat the movies with the sort of respect they have rarely been afforded before. The reviews also don't hesitate to speak harsh truths when necessary - take-downs of The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles are thoughtful, intelligent, and must-reads for any fans of the lauded John Hughes oeuvre.
McPadden is also a riotously funny writer. In the grand tradition of lovers of lowbrow art everywhere, he's a master at lovingly skewering these films. That's the key: his humor is coming straight from the heart because he loves these movies - and even in cases where he doesn't love the film, the reviews always remains honest and heartfelt. He shows how one can both critically evaluate art and express a deep love for it at the same time. That's a rarity among people writing about movies these days, and for that McPadden is to be commended.
With Teen Movie Hell McPadden lovingly pays respect to the films that shaped so many of us. That's why a copy should be required on the bookshelves of every self-respecting Gen X movie nerd out there. Thanks to McPadden, we can look back at these raunch-fests and remember not only the films themselves but also the people we were when we first watched them. That's the sign of a special book.
All images and the information below taken from the publisher's website:
ISBN 978-1-935950-23-3
Densely illustrated 360 pages of hundreds of film reviews, heavily opinionated commentary, and archival unseen illustrations.
Features contributions by Eddie Deezen (Grease, Midnight Madness, Zapped!), Kat Ellinger (Diabolique), Wendy McClure (The Wilder Life), Katie Rife (The Onion AV Club), Samm Deighan (Diabolique), and Kier-La Janisse (House of Psychotic Women), plus guest reviews by Lisa Carver (Rollerderby), Heather Drain (Video Watchdog), Christina Ward (Feral House), Rachel McPadden, and Liz Mason (Quimby’s).
New from monstrous maestro Mike “McBeardo” McPadden, the author of HEAVY METAL MOVIES: Guitar Barbarians, Mutant Bimbos & Cult Zombies Amok in the 666 Most Ear- and Eye-Ripping Big-Scream Films Ever!
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